So..
!984, 2wd. I was driving home from work when my turn signals started making a slight sizzle as they ticked and failed entirely shortly after.

I parked and had a little run through the electric's and found that the blower, rear blower and the windshield wipers had also failed. When I drove it again I realized that the tachometer, fuel and heat indicators were dead and that the van was also stuck in overdrive.

None of the obvious fuses are blown and the fusible links from the link thread all look good. My battery terminals are clean and tight.